Thursday, 20 December 2012

Good Morning 12-21-12: 10am New Zealand Time

The air has been very strange for the last 3-4 days...  It feels and sounds like it does just before a huge storm hits. The air feels and sounds "puffy", like "buffered". The usual background noises and vibrations have dropped by around 90% as an estimate. My hot flushes, insomnia and fuzzy-headedness that have hounded me all year have suddenly curtailed in these last two days...  along with the intense vertigo that I was blasted with for the last 4 weeks...  all of these 'symptoms' have  simply dropped off. 

One part of me (the pragmatist) is saying "It's all in my head" and the other part of me is saying, "Well you can't make the birds chirp less can you?"  - you know? ... how birds become quite silent before a storm?  Yes... Yesterday it was very bright and sunny...  and the birds were only occasionally chirping... and today is overcast and humid (summery) and the birds again are suspiciously silent. What do the birds know ???

In my body I am feeling really "clear".  Even my brain seems to be thinking clearly !!!  ie: without the backgroud "fuzz" that i've had to think through for all of this year !!!  And I probably spent more time at the computer these last 3 days as well - I had put my fuzzy-headedness down to exposing myself to too many RF's and EMF's from my PC  ie: "Self-inflicted", but had figured that this was my 'personal sacrifice' for 'the cause'.  The "fuzz" has been virtually non-existent over these last 2 days...  And I didn't seem to need much food yesterday...  Very little food was very satisfying... especially the food from my garden  : )

And i've been able to SLEEP these last 2 nights !!!  This is not normal for me  :-/   And i've woken up clear-headed and purposeful. Nothing has changed in my physical environment... in fact, it's all gotten a lot worse !!!  I have got STUFF EVERYWHERE in my house...  Because i'm having a GINORMOUS THROW OUT !!!!  There's stuff that I haven't been able to throw out for years... memorabilia... clothing and shoes...  board games...  Out all it goes... everything that is not useful to me in the NOW.  Some items will be recycled and gifted to the Hospice Shop, and so on...  Other stuff is simply going out in the trash.  I haven't been able to do this before, EVER... I'm hopeless at it. Throwing stuff out usually causes me great physical/ emotional pain, nausea, deep sadness and so on  : (  It all just gets "too hard" and too painful  : (   I've tried before and failed miserably. Perhaps this has been my "old-resistant-self-hanging-on-to-the-past" or something !!  : (   So it's virtually a MIRACLE that i'm able to do this now...  freely... happily  :D   I seem to be "letting go my past"...  Is this it ???  ... at last   : )  Wow !!!  This is a relief in itself.  

In my inner self, there seems to be a loosening of the "fear of lack".  Look at that - I didn't even capitalise it   : )   I know logically that there is Plenty on this Earth. We are perfectly resourced by our Mother. But the dominant paradigm which is fed by advertising, and the news media and so on is:  "I don't have enough. I have to make myself safe. I have to accumulate." My new eyes show me that I have MORE THAN ENOUGH !!!  And I will always continue to have MORE THAN ENOUGH !!!  This is a miracle-statement in itself because I only have 13 days of work this month  :-/   but I feel no fear about it.  It just is.  And I have plenty.  The rent will get paid, the meals will get cooked and more work will come in before the end of December. I'm feeling very relaxed and contented.  This in itself is most unusual for me...  I'm an anxiety bunny.  It simply feels like:  "I can't be bothered being anxious any more"   ... Interesting.

Plus I did loads and loads and loads of laundry yesterday - especially since it was such a sunny day...  Blankets, duvet inners, pillows...  crazy...  It's ALL getting cleaned, washed, ready to give away or to put away fresh and clean again.  I feel like a crazy woman...  but sparkly and new and shiny on the inside, shining out ....   


Maybe this is happening for Mother Earth too with all of us meditating and intending for a physical ascension for ourselves and for all forms on this planet, and for Gaia herself.  The air feels soft. The tension has gone ... or it's certainly 'fading' at least  : )   I don't feel like "i'm in trouble"  any more. This is an old family habit as well  : (   Suddenly... at last yesterday, I realised that I didn't feel like I was going to get a 'dreaded phone call' or a 'dreaded comment'. There was no feeling of having to be guarded.  I didn't even consciously realise that I was doing this all the time  : (   How horrible.  How is it that within a couple of days, I am virtually free of feeling guilt and "wrongness" ??  ie: in the wrong place, in the way, not needed, too young/ old/ fat/ female, not 'doing it right'... That's pretty sad, right?  : (   So how is it that yesterday afternoon and evening, I felt right?  Even if it was only for 1/2 an hour or so. The "fear" of being judged at any moment left me.  Hmmmm... ????  I hope I get more of this feeling... breaking the old family histories  : )   Is this what it means when the Bible refers to "The Last Judgement" ??  : )   ref: A Course in Miracles   ... because there's no more judgement of self and others ??  : )   This is very cool   : )  And i've not felt too judged today either... 

Or, is all of this just in my mind ???  Or are other people out there having this experience too... ???   this subtle "shift" ???  ... in consciousness   : )

You might have to look for it within yourself...  but on a subtle level, I wonder if you're observing within your body and in your environment something like what i've been experiencing this last few days as well... ???     : )  

It's 11am.  I'm going to follow the recommendation that some sites have encouraged people to do and meditate for 1/2 an hour or so at 11:11am local time   : )   Perhaps anyone reading this would like to join with me in "opening the day", being that New Zealand is "first to see the light". I gladly welcome you to join with me  : )   Then i'll do as the Archangel Michael said yesterday: Relax...  go swimming (bathe in blue)  ... and for me, keep gladly releasing my past   : )


Enjoy Your Ascension   : )

We ARE ascending   : )    All of us   : )

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