Friday, 1 June 2012

Dependent and Alone: Social Construction

I had a minor car accident a fortnight ago.  Everyone in the car was alright... the damage to the back of the car was absolutely fixable...  But the person who rammed into the back of me didn't have insurance  : (    Next thing, I find that my insurance company is deciding to 'write off' my car !!!  What !!! ????  It's a perfectly good car, mate !!  What the heck ??  Does whether you fix my car or not come down to "does the other person have insurance?" even though i've been insured with you guys for the last 15 years without incident.  You've got to be joking, right?  I was so pissed off !!  But you know, we hold it all in don't we ??

This is around how much damage my car had ~                    That was definitely me for a couple
similar to the white car... bumper fell off though.                  of days  : (

I've struggled on the last 2 weeks without my car and in minor shock that "bam" !!  they just came and took my car, just like that !!  What ?? !!!  

I was stressed, run down, not eating properly (hardly eating anything actually) and walking to and from my job, 30 mins each way...  which doesn't sound a lot...  but leaving the house at 8:20am and walking home in the dark to get home at 6pm (nearly mid-winter in NZ) is not much fun  : (   I then had a skin eruption... cellulitis infection...  and it wasn't responding to the first lot of anti-biotics...  and I ended up with this huge infected inflamed sore on my stomach for the last 5 days and wasn't able to go to work for the last 3...  and trying to get to doctor's check-ups of it on 2 of these days...  of course  :-/  ... on foot ????   Yes, mostly.  I got a ride from a friend on my worst day (Thursday)   : (   I'm really, really stuck !!  And the insurance company tells me I won't have my cheque for a new car until the middle of next week...  or longer.  Jeeze !!  And then of course the bank will want a week to 'clear the cheque'...  bastards !!  so i'll be talking to them too (the pricks) about how it's MY MONEY... NOT FUCKING THEIRS TO PUT INTO THEIR "TRUST ACCOUNT" WHERE IT EARNS INTEREST FOR THEM !!!!  WANKERS !!!  

I'm not very happy at the moment am I ??   : (   Well...  It's about being isolated and alone and trying to find solutions for ones self...  and it's not working out very flipping well at all...  but i've got no-one else to call on  : (   This is how it is for millions of people... by design i'm sure...  to keep us all weak and pitiful.  Here's my ruminations for the day...

It feels really lonely and isolated without a car...  amazing isn't it?  I didn't realise having a car is such a life-line   (in NZ anyways)  ... to everything and everyone.  Horrible... this modern society     ... so needy     ... so dependent     We're taught to be independent...  do well in school, get ones self a job, get ones self a house, a wife, some kids...  be happy and then die...  but humans are social animals and need a lot more than such cursory contact with such a small group of other people.  I think our 'natural state' is to live in much larger 'packs' of trustworthy adults...  of around 20 or so other supportive adults.  And here we are...  all stuck alone.  This is madness     It's how society has been constructed for us...  to control us, I believe.

... cloudy day ponderings.

Oh well...  so much for that  

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