I thought i'd write about my New Year's Resolutions. I decided to "let my resolutions come to me" this year... so I kind of 'decided' that I would leave the month of January 'open' where I would listen and find what the Universe Wanted Me To Be this year... The first glimpse was last week when the words came to me "Big Love". This has nothing to do with a TV series based in Utah btw !! : ) In Maori (indigenous NZ language) the word is "arohanui" ~ yes, like "aloha" with "nui" meaning 'big, large, expansive', etc. Arohanui makes sense to me. That's a really Big Heart, open warm and loving to everyone it comes into contact with. Yes. I want to Be "Big Love".
The second glimpse came yesterday at work. I am revisiting my writing style at work for the Notes, Reports and Contacts I have with many people during the day. I work in Mental Health in a residential service. I saw how my writing is very "efficiency-minded" and in a review (that I requested) with my Team Leader yesterday, I see that my writing certainly lacks heart. I am changing my writing style at work now also, to fit my new Presence in Heart : )
This will actually be quite a hurdle for me... because to let heart rule means to be REALLY open !! And to be REALLY open means to allow oneself to be vulnerable... and that might hurt... and it leaves me really exposed and it's horrible because I will probably start to feel things deeply. And to function (in business and elsewhere) in the world of pre~2012, one generally needs to be somewhat Shut Down. So I don't know how this will bear out in practice :-/ ... But as I drove home yesterday evening, aware of all the armouring I do over my solar plexus, I made a very conscious decision to:
"Open to Love and to Allow Myself to be Vulnerable"
I'm not sure where this journey will take me. I'm slightly anxious about it. I know it will bring me into Presence... at the very least : ) The Universe sent me my own copy of Eckhart Tolle "The Power of Now" on around 4 January. I was overjoyed :D I'm also aware that living as "Big Love, Allowing mySelf to be Vulnerable" will touch every cell, every molecule, every particle in every room and space, wherever I go... carrying this sense of "Presence, Love and Vulnerability".
Wow !! Now that's a slightly bigger resolution that the ones I was anticipating would come to me. I see this year is going to be very different than any year I have ever lived before. Love, Presence and Vulnerability in 2012 to everyone who reads this Love Bronwyn ♥