The video below puts some more light on the dynamics of family life, both when the children were in their mother's company, and when in their father's company. We know which environment was the most damaging, cruel, traumatic... Without a doubt.
Raising children who have been physically, sexually, emotionally harmed is certainly demanding. They can be little shits - especially when they start playing out from the scripts of the abuser scenarios.
I certainly don't envy Ella and Abraham's "job" with the children at that time, after the disclosure in Morocco.
Following is the doctor's report from September 16, 2014. That's during the time there was a court order on the children preventing their mother from taking them home. Thankfully, the video-maker offers no commentary.
"It's just the facts ma'am... Just the facts."
I've added commentary below... just because I can.
I don't think it hurts to hear other people's points of view.
Good video... Thanks for passing it on Ed.
Can you imagine ... What would it be like for an 8-year-old kid to be able to say the words of things he'd been holding inside for 5 years? - for most of his young life. And when those words were finally let out, I bet suddenly, it felt like ALL RESTRICTIONS HAD VANISHED !! INVINCIBLE !!
In the child's mind: "No-one can get you now... There's nothing more you have to hide"
... and out it all comes... Along with all the behaviours !!
Ella and Abraham quite simply, aren't psychologists or behavioural therapists.
They're just parents... People, who like most of us, simply wouldn't have had enough tools in their parenting bag to be able to deal with the Pandora's Box of what they had just opened.
It's less than ideal how Abraham dealt with the situation. That is right. I ask you this: If you went on a nice holiday you'd paid for, from the labour of your back to give your new family members a nice time away, how would you feel if you got up in the morning to brush your teeth and found these two little kids had put shit (poo) on your toothbrush !!
I would certainly be thinking... "What the... ???" Gratitude ??
I'm gonna fix that !!
That's what those kids did to Abraham. I'd want to give those two little shits a whack as well.
There's some things you just never do!
So how and in what manner do you draw the line? - given that we're all humans with responses, needs and face it - We are passionate Beings. We DO flare up. It's human nature.
And adults need to be treated well, as well, by kids. It's just what needs to happen: "I take you on holiday. You treat me nicely." Give and Take. It's the foundation of many, if not all, functioning relationships.
Ella Draper seems like a nice gentle, appealing and possibly, fairly compliant woman (like many women in the world incidentally), who I imagine looks up to the leadership of a strong man - such as she sees in her father; such as (I daresay) she saw in Dearman, and likely as she saw in Abraham. This isn't a "bad" thing. One might call it a 'cultural perspective' - A strong masculine figure leads the way. I have lovely Russian friends, and this is certainly the dynamic of their relationship, and other Russian families who are friends with them also. A strong man leads the way.
We're all just following "scripts". All of us. And Abraham, was undoubtedly following the scripts of his upbringing which could have read something like: "This is how you deal with kids: You give them a slap..." or in this case as we see from the doctor's report, the possibly of blunt force trauma.
Or did A to that to G? Their father HAD taught them to fight with each other brutally, remember?
If there was a "punch" as the report described it, was it "unfair"? Yes. Unhappy? Yes, of course.
But WE WEREN'T THERE. Ella and Abraham were. At best, we can speculate.
It's not them who should be on trial in this court of Public Opinion after all... but RD and his cohort of nasty paedophile customers who he prostituted his children out to.
That's the heart of the issue.
We did not witness the scripts that were being played out in that moment.
I'm sure all kinds of mayhem was flying loose...
Maybe G. and A. WERE being right little shits.
They themselves were not going to tell the cops that, when they were giving their testimony:
eg: "We were trying to annoy Abraham as much as we could, to see when he'd 'crack'...
to see how much like our father he was... to see if he'd rape us too."
Of course not. The children wouldn't even be cognisant of what their processes were. And the cops were not going to ask if they deserved a whack. The cops' sole purpose is to "get their man".
No bonuses if you don't "get your man."
As long as the cops can apportion BLAME on SOMEONE who is not their boss, "Job done!"
I don't think we're actually in a position to judge the behaviours and actions of the adults who were holidaying in Morocco.
Bottom line: We - Weren't - There.
The kiddies are right out of it now. Who knows if they went from the fat into the fry pan. The best we can do is to continue sending letters to Cafcass demanding to know if the children are in safe care... and that they need to be able to see their grandparents - or be able to Skype or write to their grandparents at the very least. And if not, WHY not ??
We need to write letters:
If the authorities know they are being WATCHED by us, the less likely they will get up to their old tricks again... of sweeping everything under the carpet and going back to their old paedophile ways.
The children's first foster parents sound nice anyway. It sounds from this doctor's report that the best interests of the children were at heart. The report sounded sincere, appropriately aloof and professional, and was written without bias... except for the word "punch" towards the end.
It stuck out to me like a sore toe.
Nobody knows if it was a "punch". It could have been some na-na on a jetski, or it could have been A smashing a rock into the side of her brother's head. We don't know. So I think the word "punch" (myself) is very out of place in the report.
The word/s used in reference to the ear injury needed to be as impersonal as when the writer spoke about the anal penetration of "a blunt object" ??
Hmmm... Why did the writer simply not use the word "sodomised" if she's going to use the word "punch". In using that word, I think there was an error.
But that's the only bit I must say, where I think the report fell down.
The lying for the establishment has GOT to END.
The judge heading the inquiry this week at the Royal Courts of "Just-Us" in London MUST SEE the cover-ups done by the police and launch an independent inquiry.
It's been very messy... AND the police have been mismanaging the whole thing as BEST as they can.
Who are they trying to protect?
That's the question, surely?
Police wages are paid by the Borough Council I believe.
Who in the Barnet Council are they keeping tight-lipped for?
It's been a real effort to turn confusion into chaos.
At least with this video,
we get the raw, blunt, facts.
As well as anal fissures and scarring in both girl and boy, I was also somewhat interested in the testing of "anal dilation" aka 'relaxing'. The responses were very different in both of the children. It seemed to me (a lay person) that the responses may have been at the extreme opposite ends of the response spectrum... It felt like that to me, just from the way the notes were written up.
What a thing to steal from a child... The ability to evacuate in a normal sort of a way. They will live with these health issues for the rest of their lives. It's an issue that's close to me in my family as well... Not fair. Not fair at all, when an adult steals a part of you that used to function quite normally, and now doesn't. It's the hidden scars that you can never rub out, that other people will never see. The Silence of knowing the unspeakable.
That's the sentence of a lifetime.